Making it As A Father

Art from messynessychic.com

Sometimes, fathers search for what we don’t love when being a father demands and provides what’s needed but love aint satisfying enough.

I call it post-pardum regression- because we believe parting with what made us whole, or the freedom to penetrate another’s freely, without guilt, makes us less. It’s also seeing the future of raising and nurturing someone who doesn’t always want your version of love. There aint a man alive who looks forward to that rejection.

Fathers need to feel the risk is paying off. Its overwhelming, and sometimes hard to suppress the desire to risk it all. Making love out of what keeps us angry, worried, happy and believing life is beautiful and a mess. The stress of trying to keep shit perfumed so people can’t sniff the trouble you're into. Then turning it into a stable foundation for a better future.

Our mind never turns off, and it becomes a struggle to keep the rest of us from acting up-that’s when we shut down, and sabotage what we have and need to please the family.

What Fathers need to be: A god with tyrant tendencies. We don’t have to be mean but certain levels of niceness make us seem a kind of weak that can be overlooked and wasted every day.

We need reminders that our genetics are better than the players who couldn’t hang to finish the game they claimed to perfect.

We need to feel like we’re not stuck in the pace of children. We enjoy the happy moments and know how easily they are ruined. So, we hold everything in figuring out a way to enjoy it. Those are rare moments we don’t need to feel guilty for being selfish.

Being selfish is how I care.

It’s How we prosper. How I see the truth, and, how I avoid raising and contributing to humanities ruin-being stuck watching chicks get fucked on the tube-although sometimes it improves our mood. Sometimes we need to be left alone.

What we need all the time, is respect in our home.

ADULTERY

Image by Miki Kim

Adults trying to find themselves.

Adults trying to please themselves.

Adults trying to find a happiness they feel escaped after seducing them, summoning them, dancing in front of them, moving in a way they wanted and needed to try.

Horrible

Wonderful

Disgusting

Tasteful

The sting tastes full of horrors. Memories become a series of new and old pain. You cry insanity because you want it all to return and happen again. And when it does, you push and pull away. The excitement and fun are life’s attraction-the fulfillment of manifestation. Something only your higher power can compete with.

Adults trying new things to steer their life the wrong way instead of trying to escape. Thinking it becomes stronger if you stay. Knowing we will be weaker if we do.

There’s something magically egotistical, about saying we overcame some shit we should have never gone through instead of admitting our foolishness. It’s the toughest sentence people commit to. Some enjoy their time. Admitting that is what changes the fool to being true.

Sneaking around a union that punishes who plays but pays who promotes business minded retreats.

To keep a relationship from sinking, we have to admit when we feel like it’s over. When one of us is bored and our thoughts, eyes, and attention start drifting, moving toward, lingering near that new body resembling the one we used to lust.

It starts with weight.

Is the relationship becoming a burden. Is it weighing you down? Are you able to smile anymore or randomly, freely think happy thoughts. Or are you constantly thinking something is wrong when they do something random, need a moment alone or get a phone call. That’s heavy.

Let me also say fat and happy ain’t a real thing because nobody wants to be fat. Nobody wants to fall out of attraction. But getting fat and falling out of attraction is the beginning of the end for love.

The hardest part of any fucking relationship is talking about what makes you happy because if it no longer resembles the person you are with, they will feel attacked.

The way to minimize that feeling is to ask about the action or the habits that are making you unhappy the first or second time you it happens. Because once you let it become a ritual, the negative spell is cast.

Talk Love. Think Fuck. Be and Adult and take care of and protect your love. But move on if that ain’t enough.

MidLife Crisis

Image taken from Pinterest (Weeknd Wallpaper)

What brings a midlife crisis into your life?

Chasing, wishing to re-live and blaming your Old Life

When you aint happy, ghosts from your old life pop up, making you believe you can grab the past and reshape your future with the same mind that created your haunting present.

You wouldn’t purchase a gift you know you will return just to feel included. So don’t re-do all the shit that hurt you just to show off your wound.

Focusing on the old life tricks you into thinking you can escape the life you don’t want by ignoring responsibilities. Everything old dies. So, when you allow the past to lead your life, you run from peace and success.

Crisis comes when you feel like you’re letting family down while trying to keep your head up. You only want to face people you don’t love because their disappointment never cuts into what you want. They don’t mind you being stuck in the excuse of trying to escape. They want someone who doesn’t mind being left behind. It means one less person in their way.

New Life

When you are happy you find sanity in the madness of making it last. You put the ones you love first because they will push and drag you with them. Make sure you avoid the misery of people who only give you a second when expressing disappointment.

Crisis comes from no motion towards improvement-so you force yourself to become the person you wanted to avoid.

Regret Life

Do people really experience regret? If you did it, you must’ve meant it. You can make the excuse- “I didn’t think about every consequence.” But that’s like saying and believing “For better or for worse.” You should never help someone feel better about habitually doing what moves a healthy relationship in reverse-that’s like tying a just got married charm to the back of a hearse.—-If you believe that, you are in a crisis. 

Loving The Wrong Person

The sex doesn’t mean they deserve to live in your head. Lust is the mindfuck that turns men to suckers-so they never get what they want, just what others decide to give. Men need to have dick discipline. Chasing every tail gets you pinned to a situation you’ll regret entering. And beating your way out gives you strikes that take you out the game and make you impotent.

Not Handling Your Business:

Check yourself. Being broke is and will always be bad for your health. If you have the sense to waste time, you can create moments to move forward and create instead of waiting to be rewarded.

OutKast said get up, get out, and get it. Self-respect comes from providing what books and the gram never fill. Acting on the knowledge and delivering desired outcomes helps you teach those under you the opposite of squalor. You will gain skills to make life seem livable, and lovable instead of tolerable.

Crisis comes from in-action. Think about your situation. Now think about when you posted up lazy. Body, mind, or tongue, you left too much undone until the right move moved on. We keep talking this king and queen shit, but if you’re waiting or relying on someone else, a life of crisis will be your crown.

The Real Path To Success

Success is power, failure is knowledge you enhance moving away from the ignorant.

Chase your goals by any means, instead of telling people what’s next. Become dependent on the rewards of actions instead of words and excuses showing you lost your truth.

Don’t wait. Adopt the hustlers thought. Action makes you wanted.

Yes, it takes time manifest your ideal result, but you will get it faster through consistency. So just perform, you do it every day working to become your own idol instead of a fraud.

Acting on what’s real to you is legit hope. It creates better stability than legalized dope-you become the smoke, tantalizing minds, stuck in lungs. When they spit, you are what comes up.

Be serious even when you’re not desperate. That’s how you become the asset and the benefit. Any other way makes failure certain, like the dream of being stuck with what you don’t want, but somehow, it’s the only thing you move towards. I see this with employment and people settling for who's loving or paying them.

Believe you can do anything. But know you can’t do it all by yourself. Accepting help ain’t weakness. Believing that is resistance.

That shit makes you bitter like the person who talks you out of laughing and enjoying yourself. The same people boast about being negative like its where success lives-like a man without imagination who as a child, had his wings clipped, so every move he makes creates dead ends.

Life’s Start is a Success-You Can Create the same Ending.

The Power A Fathers Compliment

Image from Pinterest

Compliments breed power, confidence and help others feel their own.

They breathe life into those on their last or dying to be. Compliments bring necessary chaos when you feel at peace living in negativity.

Caring for others makes you feel godly, when you see the smiles and sparkles from eyes and teeth like the stars you wish you could reach. It shows hearts are open. It can be the start of new beginnings-like the moment you act on the thoughts of changing your life. That is a moment when you are always right.  

Compliments show your care, builds confidence and teaches you how to help yourself. It also teaches you to care less about the hostility of selfish people’s ignorance. You begin to focus on your own mind. Seeing what’s useful. You become the tool used to lead and build. It makes you tough enough to care. That’s a desire men should always share.

Compliments and caring bring freedom to aggressively give a fuck about helping people out of the mud of the miserable. You become strong and smart enough to face the dangers of lowering your worth.

Compliments resonate like the vibration of a good lover. We all want some and caring makes them come. Compliments and caring leave everyone feeling pleased and loved and less mind fucked.

Lastly, compliment yourself. That’s the best vitamin for health. All natural like the earth and sun, and the only manufactured one a man should take other than his partner when she needs the…Don’t shy away from self-care and compliments. They help you get over all the fuck shit we as a society encourage and accept.

Fathers, recognize your power!

Thank you for reading. And to all the fathers out there If you are trying to figure out how the fuck do I do this, remember, just don’t pull out.

How To Be A Father When Yours Wasn’t around

Art by S.C. Versillee

Fathers don’t always stick around, but for those that are trying to…

DONT

Hate, hate, hate, hate your love. Or run away from how much your children need you to relate. Don’t run or hide from how much you understand surviving pain. Don’t deny that YOU are your child’s connection to joy.

DO

Think of the happy moments that happened in Your life.

Gift your child those good times to remember. Think of them as the vice you need to continue living. Enter the house happy, it will provide an ease to your struggles;bills,job,relations and shit making you sick to your stomach, causing your stress, obesity, or baldness. Bringing happiness will ease the grip of everything you hold onto that’s cutting away people and things you should keep close.

When your children talk-make sure you actively listen instead of waiting to turn it into a personal therapy session. When they and ask for advice, give it without the regret you attach to your life.

Be realistic and express happiness with advice that makes them laugh and understand the struggle and success of discipline. Let them see you enjoy trying new things and working hard.

SHED TEARS

Yeah, its ok to let them fall. It allows you to see clear to repair damage and bring your children closer. They need to know you have emotions. Because when you fix and maneuver through pain, it shows you have superhero muscles- even if you got the Thor dadbod from endgame. (And if you are overweight, get your big ass in shape!)

USE LOVE AS YOUR WEAPON

Sometimes, fathers who ain't in the home use rage as a weapon. They were given the weapon as a kid. The violence, the abuse and the trauma- all advanced. They never saw different because as they aged, the world promoted and repeated the same sentence.

Hug, kiss, play, smile, spend time. If you only show up with money and gifts, eventually you look like you are buying expectations. It makes it seem like you have zero desire in the relationship. That's when children test the waters to see how easy they can drown the love just like their parents.

CATCH THEIR VIBE

Children show what they like. They also show their fears and desires. WARNING! They may not match yours. But You can still make them feel cozy and safe as socks or their favorite blanket during times they feel the chill of self-conscious denial-when they feel like giving up on their hopes and dreams. When they feel hurt and betrayed. When they realize it’s not easy as social media portrays.

Discuss and learn their beliefs. You may not understand, but it provides in their time of need and what they need is your time.

You may be at a loss for words, but showing Love, no matter what- gives feelings of power, trust and respect. That gives life to a relationship children want to cherish.