Brand New Day
BEGIN Each day allowing yourself to fight for love.
Live each day being honest about what's making you sad & making you happy.
BEGIN With a happy ending to the day in mind & if you feel your love wake up different-Fuck until she changes hers!
PAIN POINTS
Pain points to what you need to fix.
My pain points are asking for help, not getting it, and seeing the person I want and need help from waste time, give that help to others, then vent to me and expect my help-and get it.
Knowing those people ain’t helping because they think your changes will leave them behind-when actually all you want to to bring and push everyone so far ahead their momentum feels like a free ride.
Helping others more than myself, or just as much as myself. And struggling to find a balance for that attention.
Walking into the problems as yesterday knowing you didn’t explore ways to fix it.
All the same shit having a stronghold on doubt even-though you are cleaning up every area of your life.
MR. Bundy
This fatherhood thing is hard sometimes.
Makes you wanna abort your own life. Not permanent, only to reincarnate good times, and spirits. Back to when they were innocent youths who listened.
You always want your kids to grow up but never so much that it feels awkward holding and kissing them.
Damn.
It takes the amount of work as a marriage.
Whether married or parenting, you are responsible for the relationship of love and improvement.
Responsible for letting go of past times-bad and good, for a hopeful unknown future.
You predict it tho, based on what you think-all the time!
HEAD GAMES
I’m a little off in my head-needs a-lot of warmth, licks, strokes and caresses. Just don’t make it ache, cause we’re full of temptatioooon…. Won’t allow sin to be my sensatioooon… I’ll just fuck you right, so I don’t do wrong and let out my frustraaaatioooons!
I'll give you kindness if you give paaaatieeeence!
MIRROR MIRROR
What age do we stop seeing fear?
When do we begin to see our beliefs matter more than other?
Why is it all so clear when we don’t have to look at ourselves?
The mind, the eye, the mirror, our key to our best self, in that alternate realm.
Mirror Mirror…
Make me great.
Help me see and stay on the path.
I believe it’s gotta be GOD talking back.
EMOTIONAL
Never approach an argument when emotional.
Unless you want to end up like Carl Thomas. Hurt by a woman who used to be your love. Now her heart pounds under a heavy weight who gives stability.
All she wants is to shake and quiver.
All you gave her was angry cries and a snotty shaky upper lip.
Dick head, you wet the wrong ones because she was never who you looked out for.
PRIDE!
GOD.
I struggled today. I was mean to some people. They deserved it in my opinion. They don’t know what I was going through, yet they behaved as if they wanted my strife to continue.
And through them, it did. I continued the wickedness and met their will.
I thought about how much it pleases me to beat a man acting like he thinks I’m pussy, until he sees red. Leave him leaking and smelling abandoned.
I thought about my promise to be better, think better, behave better. Betting one can get through the same ignorance, makes man er’ and use the power that rids families of god’s children who grow to men acting like they never experienced discipline.
GOD!
I’m just a man. I waked away trying to forgive them. But mostly wondering “were you playing a joke on me?” Hard as I’m trying, I wanted them to feel when I give up on forgiveness and peace.
I forgave myself. Now I forgive them.
Thank you for my wisdom and safety.
Thank you for not letting me suffer longer than I could take.
For The Record
Sometimes I reminisce, thinking about people I miss, ones who should be here to see how I'm raising children, so they can judge & throw in their 2-sense about how this generation raises “different” children.
For the record…
I love you.
I scratched up, repeated mistakes and broken trust. I still hear how much you want to go back to when it was new and didn't have to be fixed.
I think how good it would feel to bring them all back, then I think about breaking away from god’s covenant. It gives me less time to feel pain from never experiencing their love again
What is it about sad s songs that choke you up and hold you so you can’t turn them off.
For the record…
I'm scared to hold onto people because I never heal when they want to be let go.
WHERE IS THE LOVE
Some days I don’t give a fuck. Then I get offended when I feel the ones I love start to suck.
Bad blood flowing.
Feelings that make caring sluggish.
Had to stop watching weirdos on the web. Had me trapped on how other people operate their relationships. That’s a line real men don’t cross.
Hate comes fast when your own love ain’t the focus.
GAINS
When you gain weight, you look pregnant.
And you become pregnant with depression, self-doubt, reluctance to move-ahead, or any limb that will shed the fat. You convince yourself to be content in the world of happy fatness. Providing every reason to stay that way. Assisted by medications that make being an addict, popular and sexy.
There are financial gains in obesity, food, alcohol, drugs, (illegal ones), but especially alcohol and prescription addictions that double misery and profits.
You gain the weight of hating the way you look, stuck trying to regain moments of confidence you ate and shit out.
You also gain knowledge to pull and throw your weight around. This’ll make you believe it’s ok, maybe even sexy to be bigger than you Never wanted.
And when you make yourself into a version you Never Wanted, you make yourself hard to keep.
Wherever you are in this journey of life, work to regain your truth and respect for yourself.
Tis The Season
When she gets out of the bath, ass glistening, pussy fresh and ripe for the sticking.
Umm umm-finger liking good.
Ah-dict
We are addicted to everything. Mostly remaining in struggle, so we can feel like we are working to overcome our troubles because either we haven’t learned to believe we deserve happiness-trust and believe in our version, or, put too much importance in what others say it’s supposed to look like.
Gotta want to change the situation more than change other’s opinion of you.
A Father’s Culture
His culture doesn't always match the world outside of his mind, hugs, or kisses, because its opposite of his gentlemanly love in a world abusing itself to create cold-hearted alphas.
Big Nick Energy
Art from TeePublic
We got the tree up.
It sparked old thoughts of robberies. All those damn lights. I remember sirens made me run and ask for God in moments the dumb try to wise up.
No presents under the tree yet…I’m busy establishing a happy home.
Right now, the kids seem happy tho.
I’m anticipating a good morning. I pay a high price to remove sorrow from years of digging graves to be a wholesome family on their favorite day of entertainment.
And their Mama knows I do it for her Ho, Ho Holes!
Ready To Live
I’m ready to live.
As I grab my handle, head to my corner(office), ready to take on the wisdom that escapes people drugging and abusing their mental so they can make a killing over wasted potential.
I see clouds of odor, from bodies needing more love than they know how to provide and mental fog, from years of surviving the swamp.
I’m ready to die because I feel stuck. Wishing I didn’t give a …. Knowing it would make my life steady. Positive selfishness elevates people to the top percent. I’ll that high over an infestation of ignorance.
I rattle with anger and headaches because my dreams and ambition seem stranger than repeat offenders taking every turn away from the right decision.
Since I’m awake, I can’t count on greed for real change. Something in me says I gotta be better. Too many times I’ve felt worse trying to seduce life, betting her my sex and lies would make it all right.
How many days do you feel like you’re the user, working yourself to exhaustion to return to the trap because it relieves confusion?
I’m ready to live.
Being old and wise don’t pay-off the doubt enough for the wife and kids to keep the house and love tidy.
Ways & Woes
When you feel trapped at work, do you find a different path to escape or do dirt to force an end to your suffering?
Those are the choices most rely on in all relationships.
Dirt stains. But a different path helps you change a soiled life.
Wooooooow!
When your kids start thinking drugs and alcohol might be cool. Teach them that aging healthy is the drug that never gets old. That’s what they really want anyway-to escape youth, without being too old to seem or have fun.
Sit’em down and let’em have that taste.
Everyone needs to know the feeling of a life wasted. They already think they know the pool of despair- full of worries and cares for nothing that will matter after their trends end.
Life without health feels like addiction. And I don’t care what drugs are legal, no parent or child wants to care for a user and abuser.
Think on It
Fatherhood requires a selfishness everyone won't understand and ain't built for- because the self-less-ness it comes with feels like a whore's trap. A-lot of days you feel fucked and stuck, picking up the peace after your family keeps giving it up.
Wake & Bake.
Rough day yesterday!
A better night-because I allowed the love for & from my family decide how we spend the rest of our time.
Starting the day off good because that’s what I need to return the good energy spent on me!
To all the Father’s wondering “HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?”
My advice is Just don’t pull out!