Dead Beat

Image from Across The Spiderverse

Is it ever ok to be a deadbeat dad when your kids gotta eat?

You have to beat excuses dead.

Take the risk you’ve been beating yourself up for not taking and blaming your family- as the chain holding you back when they’re really holding you together.

Beat yourself up a little more about your own mistakes. Scrape away the fake ego. Instead of studying anger, study someone who consistently regains control-of themselves.

That’s the beating you have to understand so you can overcome being a Dead Beat

To all the Fathers wondering “HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?”

My advice is Just Don’t Pull Out!

TROUBLED MAN

Trembling.

Crumblin.

Can’t fold under the troubles of a man.

What do you do when life feels better in your head when you break your golden rule.

You’ve been against lashing out at family because relationships bleed more pain than you have time to recover.

All you want is quiet, peaceful love but your son refuses to learn any lessons from mistakes and labels consequences as an enemy that holds him under the fire of failure. The way he shoots off at the mouth, makes you think he wears the crown and vest of success, but the reality is his discipline leaves him un-polished, so his view is tainted. Fortunately, responsibility and discipline are all he’s missing. Unfortunately, these are some of the most crucial for a young man to live beyond his teens. You know because you held yours hostage by any means.

He sees the rules of the father as bullying, and children hate bullies. Everyone hates bullies. Bullies hate their own lives. So much they do everything in their power to tear it apart- from having a place in any others. Every second of life feels like a lonely night. Walking in weather that whispers hellish memories and makes you wonder how fast your blood would wash away. How fast your body would decay and if anyone else would miss you and your pain. You want them to feel it and face it without you because you don’t want to be reminded of your trouble. Some is cool, which is also how you played your high school days.

Went from braids to a cut so sharp, you were slicing through hearts and draws. leaving heads spinning like the waves on yours. You grew up loved but feeling hurt, so you kept yourself ready and willing to return it-confused because you believed love was always supposed to feel good. You never imagined you could love a child so much it hurts. Damn son. If you only knew.

Your daughter celebrated a birthday of her first official adult age. She’s been trying to act it for so long it drove her crazy.

She reminds you of how serious you were. Everyone thought you were crazy because you didn’t agree to their version of sense. But the sense you made didn’t pay enough to make you popular-but you were cool to those you thought mattered, until you graduated and realized adults only care about celebrities and gangsters that are untouchable. You were neither, so finding your way sent you deeper into the in-sane realm of learning about yourself.

When you’re lost and raising others to find their way, every direction leads to being blamed and blaming yourself.

Your daughter smokes weed now for anxiety. You were raised with addicts and never dreamed of raising your own. Now your son is itching to find out how it feels. Sure, they say weed is natural, but when your little girl looks like she’s gained weight consuming a life she wants to escape, you drop hints for to work out. She’s a feminist and reminds you that you raised her to know and believe she’s responsible for her own body. You let her know to lay off the body shaming smoke because being in shape is better for mental health than any drug that has or will ever be created or sold, and if anybody wanted to be overweight, the world might be a happier place.

You also don’t talk to her when she smokes, because although she’s grown, and will always be your little angel, you're not the kind of father who will ever be comfortable with your kids on any drugs. And you’re from the beautiful world of ghetto wonders, woes, and magic, where success and addiction never withdrawal from a consistent habit.

Your youngest son told you he was only average and became emotional when asked what made him that. He said people who aren’t average are smart. You wanted to massage his brain and heart and stop your own because you’re responsible for these thoughts,

Although you instill in them the greatness, knowledge and wonderful belief that positive thoughts, attitude, and actions along with consistent discipline give you the capability and belief of creating the life we want like God.

Then you realized you’re basically creating a trap house. Similar to the crack house of your youth. The only difference is the family’s stuck watching the blood and smoke of youtubers instead of pipes and needles. You know the feeling of wanting something different, but you feel so attached to an instant escape from what you tell yourself is a present prison you make more effort to stay the same. So you keep someone and something else to blame.

Gotta do something different.

It’s time for a Troubled Man to end it.

Pain heals different when you face it. You stop suffering.

To all the Father’s wondering ‘HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?”

My advice is “Just don’t pull out!”

TRUST

Trust everyone to do what's best for them and concoct ways to believe it doesn't affect you.

Trust people to choose the easy way because they ignore the hardships facing them.

Trust…

For a teenager is not being reminded to do their homework, chores, or routines they know introduces a future so bright they choose to hold on habits that hold them back—sometimes.

Trust is asking them, is there anything you feel like I should know? This is better than grilling them with questions they probably won’t answer to your satisfaction. Because you think you have the perfect question to confuse them, and you believe confusion proves you right.

Teenagers are always confused by adult questions just like adults are confused by teenage-mostly everything.

Trust one man's hang nail is just as important as your cancer, diabetes sudden death of a parent sibling or child from an overdose or driver under the influence of selfishness and greed. Fuck those fat purposely ignorant retards.

Lord. hear my prayer that they along with their family’s suffers

You can't send the driver or the dealer to hell so you have to keep a special place in your heat and find outlets when it swells.

The Fall

Don’t fall for easy money.

Don’t fall for easy pussy.

Don’t fall for easy work.

Don’t fall for the illusion of an easy life. You have to make the hard choices to fall towards success and reach it, if that’s the life you want.

Don’t fall for easy relationships.

Also don’t fall for challenging relationships.

If you have to work so hard to make other people happy or respect you that you are exhausted and don’t have time for yourself-you’re getting fucked out of your money, pussy, relationships, sanity, success, and being true to yourself.

Fuck that!!!

ANOTHER TIME

Another day.

Another life to make great.

Another time to love.

Another great life to provide.

Another smile too.

Another time to remember you made it through all the other times you didn't think you could.

It's time to believe that you can make it at all times, All the time.

To all the Fathers wondering "HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?"

My advice is Just don't pull out!

Mistakes! Misstakes Mr. 2 far

Image from Pinterest.

Miss-takes the statement personally.

Maybe I’m Mr. Take it too far.

While discussing jeans and pants for short people with the most special woman in my life, she said they don’t make jeans for short people.

I said that means (WE!) need to lose weight because the bigger the waist the longer the pant length. I said (I) go through the same thing.

Ohhh Laawd!

That’s who I felt like calling after a good time, quickly turned into nightmare in the jean isle.

“I don’t say things like that to you.” “I don’t call you fat”

“I didn’t call you fat, I said what’s true, I said WE!

“You hurt my feelings. It’s ok that I feel that.”

I’m sorry your feeling were hurt. And yes it’s ok you feel that”

As I sat there thinking. Not as much as I want you to feel this dick and these balls slapping against those, lips, thighs and ass.

As I sat there knowing instead, she will be reading smut books with some chiseled jawed, six pack having model on the cover, with more attention than she gives me, my concerns, my problems, or ways I try to solve my own and ours.

Is this how couples grow old and apart?

Why do fantasies of escape hold people more solid than the reality of staying down for their dreams.

I learned not to fake. It always hurts when its real. I can be a little more gentle, but my hardness is what appealed you out those pants. Will my mistakes keep me out of them?

To all the Father’s wondering “HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?”

My advice is Just Don’t Pull Out!

HOT HEAD

Image from Pinterest

Somethings burning.

The rage of project buildings riddled with agony. Like chipped tooth ghetto kids with acne, smiling with their eyes because its weak to show teeth. Unless your wolfin, ready to sink into something.

Fired up like Baldwin. Raised in gladiator school like Toussaint, Malcolm and Martin. When you deal with someone Native to respect, you gotta protect yours. Don't get holed up as a way to see clear.

You ever feel like the earth is against you and somehow your escape melts when you get close?

You ever think about the soul?

The old gods said it was life's force separated from the body at death. But what happens when you’re alive and feel you don't have any left?

Burning questions for a grown man who needs answers. Or do I want them to fill the desires of my childish spirit. My lady doesn't want me to always be her old man… You know what I’m sayin!

Tryna make me question AM I Motherfucking enough! I burn hot all year even outside her volcano. (Dad joke alert)

Something’s burning!

Being confident and wrong is a signal that makes people want to let you smoke.

Hold up before we put love down. I got your motherfucker. I couldn’t swear in front mines, or my father made me holler for her.

I miss them both, but when I cry, I only call for one of them.

Whoooo!!! Those tears are fucking hot.

It burns up that I can’t bring my loved ones back.

I used to wonder if God tuned on me. I sent up every signal and felt they were ignored.

Just in case you wonder why I’m always mad.

Choose Wisely

We all pick and choose who and what to listen to. The ignorant ones are loudest because they make trouble look cool.

The preferred voice tells them to struggle hard, to father themselves and gain wisdom from a school ruled by law breakers. They know 2 wrongs don’t make it right but take the right to ruin a life and live on dead ends.

A NORMAL ADDICT

Art From Deavita.net

I’ve caused and seen death and misfortune.

My own. Love. Parents burying children.

The trauma from that is worse than going to the other side and having to come back from Heaven and Hell-escaping the erratic pleasure and pain of this world.

I’ve been holding on for so long, I feel like I can’t grip freedom. Control feels like a substance used to escape.

They say Normies aint addicts- until they fight to keep bad habits, making and allowing wrong moves for loves abuse. Turning turmoil solid, to avoid sinking to depths where pain echos and speaks true horrors.

They say addiction is a disease, but every day we choose multiple drugs and remedies. We all have the plug for improvement. That’s the only type of user a father should be.

Look into your families’ eyes and ask, “How am I gonna live and create a good life today?”

To all the Fathers wondering “HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?”

My advice is Just Don’t Pull Out!

OLD TIMES

“Little Hip Hop” by Frank Morrison

For the sake of holding on to my dreams. I’m reminiscing like Mary, Pete Rock, and C.L. smoothing out wrinkles of good memories. Giving myself more time to be held in hearts of ones I love.

Bad ones I wish I would’ve followed my instincts to get away from. I’m sorry was the shit I never said enough. Now that taste won’t let me get it off my tongue.

When you see me shake my head, I’m regretting never killing that evil side before it breathed negativity. Now I think of wishes as a moment of silence at a birthday party-trying to hold on to happy endings.

Young nostalgia. Young greatness. When Black meant family, cookouts, music, dancing, that relative getting a little too tipsy and running of at the lip. Back flipping on mattresses before flipping left bodies inactive. Before playing with rocks went from seeing how far we could skip to the other side of the water change to watching how far fiends got before they sunk and refused to go any further.

I miss my Brothers and Sisters, they were my Blood cousins and friends. I grew up with Love so thick we couldn’t be separated by housing differences. We crossed towns, hoods and streets to enter and leave blues. Never knew the importance of Bro I love you, until we grew up and had kids of our own. Learned late that’s how men save each other, lives and homes.

Learning finances at 40 showed me I went to the hardest school of psychology. Banking on risking our lives. Connecting riches and respect to the most hustlers with the most chicks.

I tell my kids, to avoid what their recent ancestors did. My OG told me he regretted chasing money. Once he lost them, he realized his riches and wealth were tied to his family.

To all the Father’s wondering “HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS!”

My advice is Just Don’t Pull Out.

WILD PITCH

Image from Pinterest

How many strikes does it take before you hit?

Here’s how you get picked.

Grab the bat. The balls the hat. Get into position. Warm up, show your good form. Allow a belief you have skill that can be polished with hard work.

Home Stretch!

Listen, be attentive, use the information, then swing hard, round and touch the bases. Fill her mind with your knowledge skill and prowess in a game where power is the attraction.

Home Run!

Fill her flower with your seed. She's got the best box seat. Now you've got a fan, coming back to your stadium, under bright watchful eyes admiring and needing your performance.

Arithmetic (Right vs. Familiar)

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Right is pushy. Staying true when it's looking back at you, instead of turning towards familiar pain keeping you lazy and comfortable.

You know the saying

"I would've done it if the time was right"

BUT!

That adult said you couldn't do it, and gave a lesson making it seem foolish. So, you started skipping your dreams and running towards guilt. Started missing steps and became stuck on getting it by any means.

The math of the foolish makes pockets fat and leaves you starving for morals.

All you remember is becoming what you were taught all kids like you were good for.

ENTER THE VOID

I heard "the best way to predict the future is to create it." Dr. Joe Dispenza

Work for the experience you want, then repeat. Easy as that sounds, we would rather fuck ourselves, then complain about feeling betrayed or hurt.

Here's a few things to interpret-like you're deciphering gods language-when you decide to make yourself whole.

The life you have is the life you chose.

"Fuck you!" "Fuck outta here, I was born broke!"

Yes, but how did you grow up?

"Broke!"

So you experienced sadness?

"Yup!"

Did you have fun?

"Yes!"

So you know the difference?

"You calling me stupid?!"

I'm calling attention to your focus!

Add to the things that matter. Focus on doing whats right and make your dreams and the good life familiar.

GOOD MOANING

Image from Pinterest

The Son rises when those legs open. Blinding me from remembering how tired I was before you woke me up.

I hear your love calling when those toes are waving near my ears. Telling me to come on in-balls deep-the only time we enjoy repeats.

You know my favorite tune. It’s that throaty thing you do.

You like when I bang and beat those drums, until we blow the speaker… BOOM!

SCHOOL DAZE

Image from Pinterest

Pussy or Dick.

Children are either thinking about getting some or becoming one.

Huh?

Oh Laawd. How could you say such a thing?

Playboy, Playgirl, Maxim-mmm, Ahhh, Hustler, tricks- treating with lube, and bubble-gumming spit. That’s how you were born. But deeper we must go, like the tunnels of love, or hate because we are created from different escapes. 

Are your children moving in love or fighting to get from under?

What about YOU! PARENT!

Are you paying dues? Handling your business. Are you allowing or fucking yourself? Are your children learning it from you? Attaching blame to mistakes instead of responsibility. Making sure suffering is as good as you will ever feel. Don't play that game-the pain don’t pay-off goes the love you know.-some turns keep you from coming home.

Hit hard and fast. Only pay for things that last.

Now that I have your attention. Let's discuss the biggest slipperiest issue everyone chooses to avoid. Bad actors pretending like it ain't happening.

Check on your child's interactions. Home school or away. Find out what they are exploring. Tutors, teachers, and students have keys to get them open. It used to be mean words, punches and kicks. Remember... Drugs are not the only new way to cross lines whether kids are turned on or off. Armed with violence is the family business, opening doors for teachers putting children to sleep so they can get away with gentle sticking. Passing grades, you will never see.

HOLY SHIT

The desire for my children's success is part of the reason I started praying again. life feels spooky, and scary when a father sees he’s raising any form of lack and depression. I know an excuse and a deadly creation, and my opinion makes me an asshole who gives a shit about their differences.

Childhood taught me monsters are real- even though adults tell you not to believe as they crossed lines into abuse and addiction.

Aaahhh Fuuck!

Tears flowing from emotions I thought I was over. Dosing worries I control. This can’t be the feeling they were chasing. Eyes blood shot, heart pounding, closing off to a world of love. The devil is one sexy bitch- and the way I’m feeling- God is the son of one. I don’t mean that, I just want to feel like my angels have my back.

All NATURAL

All Natural... Marks they say stretch and leave a trail from letting lust spread you apart. Lots of clapping when you stay together!

Nothing like seeing you on all fours, so I don't feel stuck and want to split like a dog in hot water.

Granny panties are what phatties wear to fake tease-cause ain't no hiding that scenery. It heightens the senses of everyone who gets a glimpse.

Good brain is a must, I need more than just a pretty face to stay. Butt No Botox- it's for souls hiding their ugly. Naturally in shape keeps your killer beauty.

I'll leave my mark in the sheets rather than in the streets as we stretch the nights long. It's cold hearted where I'm from so I'll hibernate between those cheeks to keep our love warm.

MAD THERAPY

Image of HANNIBAL Pin page (pinterest.com)

The madness is maddening. Something is seriously wrong. I employ myself to constant work. Timely pain from wasting too much attention on concern. Mine and others-which is important?!

Anger Management

Fuck it. Just give up. It will feel better. I can hide behind blaming someone or something for the time I’m wasting, forcing myself to ignore today’s goal. Postponing my dream so I don’t have to be angry at myself when I achieve shit instead of accomplishments.

Does this make me a mental patient?

I think so… Well… It is mental. You better not say it. Then it becomes true. But the procrastination that has guaranteed consistent failure just means I can get better by doing a little less of my behavior as usual.

To Live or Die

I'm tired of hearing the last of the dying, so I give energy to life. That's a rare secret to plant rather than bury. It's a remedy for depression that sprouts happiness and eases worry.

MAN UP

FATHER

Boy, it’s time to grow up!

SON

Into what?

FATHER

Pay attention!

SON

Show me something. Other than aggression towards what you wish you had become.

At this point-A boy’s ego could think he’s being called a bum.

A man, A father see’s opportunity to close the door on what’s no longer necessary, instead of holding it open for what he feels was left undone. To finish the brave journey of raising rulers. To listen and check the health of their seed. It will bear the fruit and spirit of the old man’s root- so make it last and make it worthy, make it good.

TAKE OUT THE TRASH

TAKE OUT THE TRASH

It’s frustrating when past situations lead to busting off your future as a waste.

I'd rather have porn than a fake chick-i can turn it off at my convenience. Too much of that foolishness makes you think real ones are easy to fuck with.

Nipsey said "study your queen so you can give her what she wants without asking", but when every step is second guessed, A man will say fuck it and solely focus on mastering himself.

Every man needs His woman until they change how we feel with laziness.

Stop believing all the lies being sold. Influencing you to be rotten and, sexy. You'll end up pretty, spoiled and alone for that body you souled out for. Too much of anything you desire is unhealthy, and the wrong desire makes discipline feel like a Hoe!