TRAPPED

I don't remember where I heard "the more things change the more, they stay the same."

You ever think traps are personal brainwashing to?...

Crave severe negativity most of your life! Any reason or excuse for people to overlook that you're not living to your potential. It gives you a fire to run into. It's a hellish fight on a wonderful, wicked road that leads everywhere you thought about going.

The beauty is...It always leads to believing your life and goals reached the dead end you were hoping for.

Trapped In A Bad Mood

When you look around and feel trapped, it's because your ambitions got highjacked, taken over, held hostage by work that your anxiety says you to need so the family can eat. Relationships that hold you in place because you don't know if your next move will renew or ruin, because yours are scrutinized so much by people who are supposed to care, they ignore their own behavior or lash out when you give attention to theirs.

That trap makes fathers break out of a legal mentality. Break out of being rational. And we become that caged animal that once attracted but now scares you.

You ever try to help someone through something that's obviously bothering them, then they get pissed at you. Then when you don't help, they say no one pays attention. Then all of a sudden, they're happy and feel enlightened telling you about that same profound advice they received from another person.

You ever try to "Just Be and Think Positive?"

It makes you feel like you're going fucking crazy. Crazier than constantly thinking negative and feeling your life become the worst damaging, traumatic movie replaying in your head, until everyone you see, and encounter becomes an enemy.

This also happens when you watch and listen to negativity experts pretending, they are helping you find a way through the madness, while keeping you mad.

The terrifying thing about being trapped is how easily and often we do it to ourselves. You ever try to change and the people you want to lead keep setting up their life with the same sorrows. All you do is think about how much it's your fault. Somehow you stopped motivating them. And that makes you feel sorry for yourself.

We don't listen to practical wisdom.

We prefer to prove ourselves in areas that matter more to strangers' than family and ourselves. Then we all become strangers- trapped believing everything outside the family matters.

Breaking Free

Put your needs first. We hear it all the time "Be selfish!"

People who doubt the importance and positive impact of being selfish either don't understand power, or don't want any. Think about the power, influence, and success of your favorite normal-regular person (cool family member, friend, or boss) or celebrity (actor, musician, athlete). How the fuck do you think they achieved success?

Hint! They were selfish, put their needs first and stayed focused.

Start by saying what you want. One of the easiest, most consistent ways to trap ourselves it is silencing ourselves.

Leave anything that stops you from feeling good about doing what you enjoy.

Allow yourself to say it, act on it, then become it.

My Trap

I only want to be with my family. (That feels like freedom and power)

BUT

I spend so much time away from them working to make other people's lives better, I feel like I owe them more money than time. That makes me feel like a waste and too trapped with disappointment to look love in the face.

Quote of the fucking week

"Fuck shit mother fucker fucking stupid ass life and all this fucking hard motherfucking shit I gotta deal with, that I should be better than by now and have it all mother fucking figured the fuck out. muthat fucking wishing I could end all this shit but that would be the end of me, then I would really fuck up the family, what the fuck is wrong with me, what the fuck is wrong with everybody, and every-MUTHA-FUCKING THING IS BOOOOOOTHERING MEEEEEEE!" Fuck...

Dad Joke

I'm too serious to play. I don't have any time to waste except for on me and my struggles and complaints.

Books I'm Reading

Tests & Measurements for my stupid ass mother fucking psychology Masters degree class.

Music I'm listening to

Nas (A shuffle mix of all of his music)

To all the Father's wondering, "HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?"

My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!