THE WEIGHT OF IT ALL

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Nobody dreams of being…Heavy, fat, overweight, carrying unhealthy genetics. 

Those crumbs…

When we indulge, in a hurry like a boys first time- we regret the outcome. A manifested accident is hard to love.

I don’t know any truly happy fat people.

I also don’t know many truly happy people period- something is weighing them all down.

Do I know all the wrong people?

I have obesity in my family. I always thought it was disgusting, and unattractive. Fat repels... 

Sounds disturbing, but it’s a failure comforts of disease are found in. That’s been my experience. And my environment is built around obese people surviving on what’s killing them. My body feels like i’m killing it trying to lose the fat then eating and thinking everything to put it back.

What the Fuck…

Lord… 

Bless the food making me tired. This drink making me too drunk to think. Fat and free, watching my finances dwindle, my waist, belly, and face expand. Paying more attention to my t.v. and phone than my health or stretching legs to keep me erect.

Now my kids are grown. Dealing with the weight of the world and parents’ expectations- as if that will eliminate mistakes that harden thinking and soften flesh — — so says the gospel of parents swinging belts. 

I have never beat my kids except for lecturing good eating habits and doing the opposite.

I teach the discipline to work and exercise. To keep bodies and minds improving- moving away from the sympathy of success-thinking you are a tragedy if you don’t have the same experience-because chasing another man’s dream makes yours die violently-overdosing on potential and grief.

So…

Yes…

I encourage my kids not to be fat. More importantly, I encourage them to be in shape. Healthy enough to recover from mistakes and regret.

Some might scream hypocrisy and patriarchy. The irony is they wish for a father like me… A man raising sons and daughters to know and believe the power of their mind's bodies and sex.

A man raising sons and daughters to educate themselves to gain power and respect.