FIRST 48
Image from Pinterest
THE FATHERHOOD EXPERIMENT: A Newsletter for fathers
Are you serious enough to love when they don't want your version. When it hurts to give and receive theirs. Sometimes the smile cuts like a knife. Daggers on both sides. A Fathers sense and humor has to carve out loyalty.
First 48...
SECONDS AFTER AN ARGUMENT
Feel the sadness. Feel the violence.
Remember when your child didn’t listen to warnings not to play with danger- until the pain of their cries stung and made you flinch like stitches. They fell, split their lip and SCREAMED. You pop them in it as punishment-part of healing your anger. As the prophet of injury, you hope the pop shocks them quiet and seals their lip shut, like it never happened.
You wish you were a magician, so you could turn back the belligerence that transforms idiots. But sometimes smart people behave dumb, it's how they test. After they disappear to their room, it’s calm for a minute, now that their face is out of reach and off limits.
Those emotions are brutal, you feel battered. You have love available, also some hate stewing like an upset stomach. The shit parents never think they would have to deal with.
Focus On What Needs To Improve
The house turned chaotic because you only focused on problems. The solution is like keeping your kitchen clean. Wash as you go instead of letting the dirt sit and pile up. What's cooking might be good and bring y'all together, but nobody wants to eat in filth. It makes it all unenjoyable.
HOURS AFTER AN ARGUMENT
Waiting for another. Recovered and ready for slick comebacks, parents usually don't have the energy to think of. Children on the other hand, are never slight with hacks.
Look at discipline like a movie. What is allowable parental aggression? What do you want your child to see, feel, and hear.
Silence, pops, flicks, plucks, smacks, yells, spanks, grounding without pounding is a fathers UFC. (unless it's the mother of your seed). U Fucking Care. At some point kids love to hit you with the I dare you to, and try to make you prove how much you don’t.
What they really want is the YOU, before the first 48 wardened your humor. Before they felt like a prisoner not allowed to express themselves. Before they felt hostage to a prowling overprotective, out of shape, afraid of fun parent, always on the lookout for damage.
Fathers want the same. The problem is trying to tame the wild. The younger you. The version you locked away.
Pay attention to the lesson your child's trying to express. They may not have the words but are loud and clear with emotion and action.
Focus On Current Happiness
It's about what's happening NOW. You can't change what happened then, but if that's your only focus, it will happen again. It's how we carry trauma.
THE NEXT 4 TO 8 DAYS…
The house should be different. The way it should’ve been at first. Parent to child, better lead with respect. No longer fixing energy to show how life would be without each other. (I remember wishing as a child that I had different parents).
Feel the love. Pray and wish you never feel anymore neglect. Now for the next, focus on that happiness. Love while young. Love while mature, most importantly fathers need to make it apparent.
Dad Joke.
"Knock Knock.
Whos there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio- not- I'm gonna cum in your mouth. " (Chuck Palahniuk, Knock Knock)
Music I’m Enjoying
Chaos is My Ladder (Ransom)
Book’s I’m Studying (The Holy Ones)
THE BIBLE
THE QURAN
Book I’m Reading (I’m a writer so I’m studying these too)
MAKE SOMETHING UP by Chuck Palahniuk
To all the Father's wondering "HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?"
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!
