Deep Love
What's the deepest LOVE
Sharing shame without a second thought
Blame never crossing the threshold- making you feel caught out there. No place to hold on. Free to experience heaven on earth knowing hell is close as a wrong turn, of the head, cheek, or eye following a thought to turn every type.
Honest to the slick. Living the fuck-its till you believe your stronger than guilt. Too tough to quit. A love that never ends
In the end, a love we pretend
Last of My Kind
Last of my kind
Kind… The last thing missing
Missing the thing I last took for granted
Granted myself strength to be kind,
Kindness is a power that has improved my life.
Life is and takes a power and provides strength.
Not A Care
Not at the table
NOT in front of...
The kids, they feel it like a yell. An attitude sending happiness to hell. Scared like love was taken back.
Not in front of friends! Shouldn't keep them If you have to pretend. Mending their broken home from pieces you dumped after giving up.
Not in front of parents, if they see trauma is inherited, they couldn't gin or beer it. Too high to realize their faults ain’t always perfect.
A Beautiful Mind
My mindset is killing me.
I think I’m more than I believe. Better than you think.
Mindset is killing us.
Always did… Made the war un-suttle. Without words, we can’t avoid exploding hurt.
We are the killers.
Making a way for envy, breathed to life. Wanting things done better than what you’ve become. Under your watch, pushing for a time when guilt is caught in hearts seeking love.
I admit, because my love will make you forget. I am guilty of the mindset that keeps on killing. A lover’s mindset at it’s best.
Loves Blues
My blues were eery. Made me fear myself. Didn’t realize a person would honor their self-destruction
Was it worth the thrown?
Love…powered by obedience, found under every frame-working to keep a lid on vanity-shaming love to stay.
Forbidden Love
When you reach that age youth begins to hide, be careful of the ego you bring out. It’s the lover spewing what was supposed to be forgiven. What he was not supposed to hold onto, cause’ it makes him and his peace opposites that purposely attract doom.
ROADS WE PAVE
Memories
Do you ever really forget? Or does the body naturally reset- so you don't have to think about, or remember that regret. Until you treat others with the remedy you perfected.
Your mental. Preserve the pain from a war won because you lived. Surviving the battle of life, feeling lost when asleep, unable to reach the end-the meaning. And can’t escape when awake-not in a way that brings more.
So you go… Anyway. As long as it’s away.
Good roads lead to dead ends, making some bad ones seem worth the cost.
Who want it?
You ever talk to someone just to hear yourself. To dissect your cry for help. Is it genius, or does the wine make you bitter, like gin burning affection, altering intuition so you chase bad decisions.
The fun you won’t vision.
My dream life.
I only need someone to enjoy my limits and hold me as I surpass them. It’s more than we can handle. Is loves hold strong enough to beat tough times seducing us to fuck it all up?
Distant Lover
I don’t care to live on someone else’s terms. I’m not a fan of moving slow to turn them on. Getting off is my concern.
Grizzly with love. From a distance I look cuddly. Get too close and it’s a nasty ending. It’s what you wanted.
You know the danger. Strange how it attracts. The pain you desire to explain. I move according to my business, you like to interrupt, creating the possibility to get tore up.
The Formula
Knowledge of the wicked.
Knowing myself enough to kick it. Bond with hard times. Makes me unbreakable as the lie I believe. Shattering dreams until the nightmare comes easy. Like virgins flushing to remain clean-thoughts pounding more pain than a hyman breaking and anal raping.
Pleasured when receiving pain wraps you in a blanket of trauma you can’t escape. Throw it away and a piece of you escapes. Burn it and watch your freedom dance away, laughing and pointing, watching you still, grounded without escape.
Fathers Regret
A Father's regret!
-Not trying my hardest during all the time spent whining and complaining.
-Not always being intentional about improving my life to make my family and kids better.
-Getting on them to improve when I wasn't the proof to show it was possible to turn the lie of hope into a dream come true.
-What would I change?
Not seeking and knowing how to love in a way that made me happy or comfortable showing it.
I’m not sure if that’s possible because I really don’t like to compromise and I love quiet and loving someone quietly is hard-almost impossible in relationships.
We always chase the ditch-thinking, if we bury what we need we can dig it up when we want. Then we lose touch and our goods decay.
The Present
I am the giver.
I am the gift.
That’s how to enjoy relationships.
You get it in return when you don’t take no shit.
Father’s dreaming soul
Fatherhoods dreaming soul.
Depending on age and environment you long for the positive and feel the negative, it’s like finally getting that fine girl whose rebounding from heartbreak and all you see is her bouncing from your dick back to his, cause he's a baller but you go hard in painting her with orgasms.
You feel a heavenly rush to hellish realizations. And a whole lotta hot moments and tears make it worse. Tempers sizzling cause parents and children have their own and want you to know and be awed.
Were born attached but individual dreams loosen bonds. The price to getting it back- is what a man, a father is supposed to give up-the empty love of focusing on childish ways that raise mean and empty hearts.
That makes us wanna die before we get old, we see the pain of temporary joy in old souls, those children see failures and unlearned lessons ruin homes in advance. An inheritance they try to hide, living as relics. Decay displayed as a mirror to make another's pain bearable.
If your scared you should be. It means you realize your comfort being lazy and how fast and quick it caught you. Its cozy hold helped you be content with excuses, proven to be inexcusable.
The best way to beat that opponent is to move-against what's holding you back and exhaust the success of your failures. Start and finish what you need before you regret getting what you want.
But remember failure is the most adaptable opponent next to a lie. It makes you believe in the wrong things and quit what's right.
Hold on
Hold me before you bury me. Carry me with tenderness before you throw me away. Hate brought us to the same place, where we serve disgust until vomit. Convulsing from loss ain’t recovery and feeling aint dealing with or healing the pain. We both stole and held on to what didn’t belong. We wonder why we hate home.
Dreamer Schemer
When I see faces in the sky, I wonder whose dream I’m living? Or if I was right about the nightmare from the beginning.