Mannish

Don’t ask forgiveness for sins. Face the wreckage for as long as it took you to scheme. Because you meant it when you did it.

You can apologize. But, if the victims don’t accept, at-least you won’t have any more self-hate to collect.

I made it a point to never beat my kids or wife. (I never have & never will). I love them so that should go without saying. But I just learned what man-splaining is.

Every day I see or encounter people I don’t like, who definitely deserve a beating. But I deal with them respectfully- if possible, without forming an extensive mental hit list. I fight hard to have inner peace so I’m not at war with my family. But it sends me home scarred, ready to ruin something beautiful.

I try to avoid people who say, “life is a game.” Cause if they're not on a pro level, they go home with a “I keep losing out there, so I’m gonna beat you in here” attitude.

I check myself on how I talk. My tone, mannerism, and attitude. I know words are just as damaging and traumatizing to kids as a punch, slap, kick, lash from a belt, or whatever is within reach. A few of the nostalgic go-to intimidation tactics, learned from the war against those who didn’t allow suburban America to solely profit from drugs.

Everything’s a trigger to teach obedience with a gangsters calm and rage. I have to remember, asking or telling a child-” What the fuck is wrong with you?” Or “Just be fucking quiet for a goddamn minute, so you can learn something.” turns kind people into killers.