SEXY DAD JOKES
A mother, going on a date for the first time since separating from her teenage son’s father, is putting the finishing touches on her outfit,
Her date arrives and rings the doorbell, and hears her yell,
“get the door for me sweetie.”
Her son opens the door.
The date extends his hand.
The son looks at the date like he just took his hand out of his pants, turns his back, shakes his head, but leaves the door open.
The date steps inside, maintains his gentleman and closes the door gently. He clears his throat.
The son, now sitting on the couch playing a game, doesn’t bother to look up.
The mother bounces out from a hallway and watches her dates eyes trace her entire body with sharp pleasure.
“Heeey”, I’ll be right out.”
She smiles, winks and says,
“You thirsty?”
The date starts to smile but catches her son giving him a look of someone plotting death.
“No thanks, I’ll wait till we get there.”
“Ok, this is my son…”
The son stands up, cutting her off…
“What’s your name?”
The date says “Carl.”
Carl walks over and extends his hand again.
The son shoos his mother to go and finish getting dressed. She smiles and follows the young man of the house’s instruction.
The son steps to the date, but again, doesn’t shake his hand.
“Carl is a corny ass name, and my mom…WE… Don’t like corny ass niggas.”
Carl grins and flashes gold fangs and a look that scares boys and men straight.
“My full name Carlito.”
“Oh, you think you some type of fake PAPI?”
The son sucks his teeth and checks to make sure his mother is out of sight.
“Cornball Carl, or Carl the cornball” “Which one do you like?”.
Carl steps back, retreating. He looks down the hall to see what the fuck is taking so long.
“You can just call me Carl.”
The son steps forward confidently.
“Listen CORNBALL, I mean Carl. Let’s clear this up right now. I don't want nuttin to do witchu. So, I don’t have to call you shit.”
Carl calmy and swiftly grips the back of the boy’s neck and tricep like a vice. He pulls the boy towards him. Instantly treading the line only, the most intimate of friends and enemies walk. Close enough to know exactly what each other ate, drank, and the actual shade of each other’s teeth. And because the boy’s mouth was open, as he held in the pain-Carl was judging the size of his mouth, and how far back his throat went.
Carl said,
“You’re right. I apologize, you can just call me MOTHERFUCKER.”
Before the boy could react, his mother sauntered out in a dress made for easy access and says,
“See I told you my baby is a respectful young man.”
Carl stepped back and nodded in agreement. He gave the son a playful but defining back hand to the chest. And said,
“IT WAS REALLY NICE TALKING TO YOU!”. I’ll be seeing you.”
The mother kissed her son and caressed his face while he stood in shock.
