MIDNIGHT MEDITATION
When I can’t tolerate my thoughts-whispers and screams telling me to improve, allowing failure to gain every day I don’t obey- I’m ignoring simple wisdom and encouraging myself to live stupid.
But I know I’m not stupid. So why do I play the song of sorrow and regret until it becomes the theme guiding my habits and interactions? Then act accordingly until I see myself in everyone around me-linked in struggle.
Breaking away from pain that doesn’t benefit you is a struggle you can’t brace for and the hardest to let go. Because bruises show up in any light and all your focus goes towards hiding. You lose sight and neglect other people and areas of importance.
After I overcome sorrow, happiness can seem like torture. I constantly remind myself of the steps I took to reach the comfort of a doom that seemed impossible to escape and avoid. Leaving the door open for things you miss can also allow intruders.
Whatever version of myself I create, it’s because I listened. Whatever I believe from someone else, it’s because I listened.