Good Black Neighbor

Image From Movie Coonskin

Is there such a thing as a Good Black Neighbor?  Sounds like a fucked up, racist question but I’m black so I can ask. Especially since breaking and entering was the perfect job for an underage dark-skinned kid needing to get paid.

But now as a man, I don’t know. My back yard looks like I’m living in a house I broke into. I’m on my best behavior out here because this gated community has more rules than a homeless shelter.

Just about all my neighbors are white. One day, when I was walking my dog, I saw a white who lady locked herself out of her house. I only knew this because she nervously approached me-a stranger who is not her husband and asked me if I had a ladder. I didn’t, but I knew how to get her one.

I immediately started scanning through my favorite porn scenes and got her that ladder. I placed it near her most accessible opening-the second floor window. It was raining, so she was nervous about climbing up. Again, I immediately offered to help. Eager as an addict to make my own original scene.

But when she said no! She would rather wait and call the locksmith. I was like damn either she don’t like niggaz, I’ve been watching too much porn, or I gotta lose more weight than I thought.

All I know is I’m heavy where it matters.